Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Messages to myself

Today I was exchanging facebook messages with a friend who is in a difficult situation and really struggling with her less-than-ideal mom moments.  I found myself telling her to be kind to herself, and be accepting of her best efforts now, and have faith that she will get through it all with grace. 

Kindness, acceptance, faith, grace.

I need someone else to write the same messages to me - if I only felt comfortable enough to share with others the depths of my struggle.  But I suppose I should up the ante a bit - I need to write the same messages to myself.  Not just in theory, but actually do it. Can I imagine how I would feel if I received messages from a friend with those powerful words?  Can I imagine how I would feel if I actually applied those ideas to my everyday life?

And yet, all of those things are within my power to do.  I need to learn to love myself as I am - instead of thinking that I'll love myself when I'm no longer depressed.  I need to learn to love the depression, too, as a part of who I am.  But how can you love something that is so dark, and shadowy, and downright sinister?  I'm not sure - but I'm certain that it involves those four words I shared with my friend.

Kindness, acceptance, faith, grace. 

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